TheAdventures of the Transsexual Transvestite Trio
by Rosie Scrivello DDS
Summary: The Transsexual Transvestite Trio! Goo Goo Dolls, Rocky Horror, the Grammy's and Pat's Meat Farm all rolled into one fic! *Added Ch. 5*
1. If I Were President...

The Adventures of… **__**

The Adventures of…

The Transsexual Transvestite Trio 

Author's Note: it all began really innocently. HAH! Yea right. This is based on a conversation and a crazy idea.

(our account names)

Lisa/Magenta:…………………………Poted Plant 

Lindsay/Riff-Raff:……………………Rosie Scrivello, DDS 

Luis/Frank-N-Futer:…………………Licinious 

Disclaimers: We're sorry if we offended anybody with the pop references… It's Lindsay's opinion. Little Shop of Horrors belongs to all those great people, you know who you are. Steve Martin, the greatest guy in the world (besides Luis… ^_^) belongs to himself. Rocky Horror Picture Show belongs to Richard O'Brien, The Goo Goo Dolls belong to themselves. The pop groups mentioned belong to the devil.. er, themselves. The ideas mentioned (especially the Viking one) belongs to either Lindsay or Lisa, depended who said them. Winky is Lisa's hedgehog. She's TERRIFIED of Lindsay.

{online}

Lisa: I wonder what would happen if you became president 

Lindsay: ...

Lindsay: that's wrong.

Lindsay: me as president?

Lindsay: Little Shop of Horrors Day!! September 23!!

Lisa: ...

Lindsay: Steve Martin's b-day would be a nation holiday

Lisa: LMAO

Lindsay: December 7th [**A/N: Luis and my anniversary**] would be a nation holiday.

Lindsay: December 19th [**A/N: Day the LSOH vid came out**] as well… a day of celebration!!

Lindsay: And piracy would return!!!

Lindsay: AH HAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Lisa: ...

Lindsay: N*SYNC and BSB would be burned at the stake… 

Lisa: LMFAO!

Lindsay: Britney Spears would be put through a Broadway audition…

Lisa: um...

Lindsay: I'll explain…

Lisa: k

Lindsay: In pop, if you sing, you're in.

Lisa: ...

Lindsay: on Broadway, try competing with 100+ people for the same role, who are as good as you, or maybe better; you 

need talent and years of extensive training. The will to do it, the perseverance. The love of music.

Lisa: oh, I get it!

Lisa: hahaha… I can just see her ass getting fried!

Lindsay: so, that's her torture!

Lisa: she'd run home crying

Lindsay: lol!

Lisa: can I ask you to do me a favor when your president?

Lindsay: surely

Lindsay: *gets a brilliant idea*

Lisa: ?

Lindsay: tell me yours, first.

Lisa: make it legal for 1* year olds to get married to 35 year olds...

Lindsay: oh

Lindsay: …we weren't thinking the same thing

Lindsay: *changes marriage laws though*

Lisa: uh oh… what where you thinking?

Lisa: thanks, btw 

Lindsay: don't scream, let me finish, okay?

Lisa: k

Lindsay: I was going to handcuff Johnny…

Lisa: ...

Lindsay: and Robby and Mike

Lisa: ...

Lindsay: and then…

Lindsay: dress up as a Viking

Googoopotedplant: ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [**A/N: We already have a Viking joke, so she knew where I was going**] 

Lindsay: and bring them to your house

Lindsay: ^_^

Lisa: *applauds*

Lindsay: AND IF THEY AREN'T WIMPERING IN A CORNER BY THE TIME WE GET THERE, I BRING OUT THE WHIPS!!!

Lisa: LMAO!

Lisa: I got a little nervous when you said you where gonna handcuff Johnny...

Lindsay: *tries to imagine her and the GGD rowing in a Viking ship down ……… Road*

Lisa: *laughs so hard tears form* 

Lindsay: ^_^

{the aforementioned scene is happening and continuing} 

Lisa: Watch out! CAR!

Lindsay: AHH! the police!!! Row faster!!

*Johnny, with the oar, crushes the police car*

Lindsay: Or, you could do that… *rows to Lisa's house and she accidentally drives the ship over Robert, Lisa's little brother* Oops.

Lisa: Oh well!

Lindsay *shrugs, gets out and cleans blood off*

Winky: *sees Lindsay coming up the driveway* 

Lindsay: *runs after her*

Winky: *runs back to the safe hands of Frank-N-Futer*

Lindsay: *takes the Viking ship, Robby and Mike and rows to Transylvania, but they have a hard time getting the ship to float*

Lisa: Hey, where'd Johnny go?

Lindsay: he uh...

Johnny: *appears on her front door stuff, still in chains and handcuffs*

Lindsay: *runs up to him* MINE!!! *unshackles handcuffs and takes the chains*

Lisa: Aww… I was gonna have fun with those…

Lindsay: *jumps onto the slowly rising ship and they disappear into the sky*

Frank-N-Futer (FNF) *runs out of a bush with Winky*

Winky: Are they gone?

FNF: *pets Winky*

Janet: *comes crashing out of the sky for no apparent reason. She is laying in the middle of the street, wearing her bra and underwear* 

FNF: *runs over to her, and he sprays sun block on her. Seeing a car, he runs, leaving Janet* 

*The car passes over Janet, and Brad is driving it. Except, brad has a Mohawk and has a spike through his chin*

FNF: *runs back to Janet, and places Winky spikes down on her stomach*

Janet: *pushes Winky off and runs to the yard*

Winky: *left in the street when a car comes, and grows to 145.6 times her size and eats the car. Left standing on her hind legs, she trudges off*

*a TV appears in Johnny's lap which makes him fall over, it turns itself on*

Johnny: *puts the TV on the stoop and goes into the bushes with Lisa*

The 6.00 news: A giant hedgehog named Winky is terrorizing the streets…!

Janet: *glances at her non-existent watch* It's only 3.03. 

*the Viking ship returns*

Lisa: *uses Johnny's belt as a whip*

*Magenta, Riff-Raff and Columbia appear with Robby, Mike and Lindsay, and start dancing the Time Warp*

**__**

To Be Continued… 


	2. Fire!

The Continued Adventures of… **__**

The Continued Adventures of…

The Transsexual Transvestite Trio

Hi again! We're baaaaaaack!! You know our account names already. But, ah ha, do you know why this is posted? Lisa and I (Lindsay) have scary/crazy/bizarre/wild/etc./etc./etc. conversations like, every day. These are our conversations (online) put in script format for a wild and crazy fic (STEVE MARTIN FOREVER!!! His Birthday is August 14th!! Party at my house!! HAPPY 56TH STEVE!!!). So, on with the show!

Disclaimers: We do not own our souls - they belong to the devil. My body belongs to Luis, Lisa's belongs to Johnny. The GGD hopefully belong to themselves. 

A/N: No musicians were hurt in the making of this fic.

{Johnny Rzeznik of the Goo Goo Dolls, also Lisa's husband, is sick and lying asleep in her room. Across the house, Lisa and Lindsay play on [www.neopets.com][1] and generally go crazy… again}

Lisa: *hears a cough from her room* Don't worry! I'll take care of you Johnny!!!! *runs out of the room. She walks into the kitchen, makes a big bowl of chicken soup and brings it to Johnny* 

Lindsay: *smells it from the other room* FOOD!!

Lisa: *gives Lindsay some*

Lindsay: AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

{she puts the bowl down and gets into a conversation with Lindsay about the game Snow Wars}

Lisa: Oops...I forgot.....Johnny's lying in bed with a headache, stuffy nose, sore throat and a fever...but I still have to beat the star... Should I tend to my ill husband or play a computer game?

Lindsay: hmm… *thinks for a minute* I'd play the computer game 

Lisa: *sits down on her computer chair......Johnny needs his rest

{They both hear loud sneezing and coughing from the other room} 

Lisa: QUIET!!!I CAN"T CONCENTRATE ON BEATING THE STAR!!!!! 

Lindsay: *stifles her laughter*

{They both hear loud thud}

Lindsay: um…

Lisa: *goes into room and sees him lying on the floor and she pokes him with a stick* 

Lindsay: *follows her and dances a tribal dance around him chanting aborigine chants* 

Lisa: I think he's still breathing. *goes back to computer*

{The couch for some bizarre reason now has a mind of it's own and catches on fire*

Lisa: FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *she grabs her computer and gets her ass out of there. Once her and her computer is safe, she continues playing snow wars*

Lindsay: *sits and stares at the fire*

Lisa: *has a feeling she forgot something* Oops! I forgot my husband! *stops playing and runs back in to get Johnny*

{Lindsay is still staring into the fire, and Lisa carries him out}

Lisa: GOD JOHN YOUR HEAVY!!

Lindsay: *calls to Lisa* Why would ya do a stupid thing like that and save your husband!! You could have killed yourself!! *runs outside into the winter snow* You already saved your computer!! 

Lisa: because I _am_ stupid!

Lindsay: Oh, okay.

{Robby and Mike suddenly appear}

Lindsay: *she grabs hands with both of them and tries to make them dance and chant*

Robby and Mike: *they resist and try to repeatedly run away* 

Lisa: *wonders if lying in the cold, wet snow will help Johnny's cold...* Hee hee hee *she will warm him up!*

{the fire department comes and puts out fire}

Lindsay: *groans and complains*

Lisa: *drags Johnny back inside, puts his underwear in the Microwave so he'll be nice and toasty while he rests) and puts him back to bed...and continues her computer game*

Lindsay: *she shares common interests with Mike and Robby and they have a pow-wow in the middle of the room*

   [1]: http://www.neopets.com/



	3. The Grammy's

The Continued Adventures of **__**

The Continued Adventures of

The Transsexual Transvestite Trio

And once again, we have returned. The first one with all of us!!!!! WOO HOO!!! Oopa comes from a typo and is © 2001 of Lindsay. The song "Oopa Oopa" is © 2001 of Lisa. 

I, Lindsay, do not own Raoul Esparza. Although I wish I did. :`( Oh, and Luis is my boyfriend.

Ricky Martin was (unfortunately) not hurt in the making of this fic. 

{TTT conference}

Lindsay: I think it's time we released an album. *crosses her legs*

Luis: Okay?

Lisa: Yes… but what to call it…

Lindsay: Don't Dream It, Be It!

Luis. Okay.

Lisa: *jumps up and screams* OOPA!

Lindsay: WHAT?!

Lisa: Our song!

Lindsay: YES!

Luis: Okay.

{5 ½ weeks later}

*The TTT is standing in front The Wall in the middle of the Sears Mall*

Some dude: And now, the releasing of a premiere album by the TTT! With their new hit single, "Oopa Oopa"! 

*there is no crowd, but people are staring*

Lindsay: *runs around and throws confetti* 

*no one buys the album, but it somehow goes triple platinum and gets nominated for a Grammy. There is no competition* 

{At the Grammys}

Reporting covering it: Also up for a Grammy is the incredible rock band, THE GOO GOO DOLLS. Goo Goo Dolls frontman, Johnny Rzeznik is also married to a member of the Transsexual Transvestite Trio. 

Announcer (who, for some reason, is Raoul Esparza - Riff-Raff in Rocky Horror Show, new Broadway cast, in full costume): And the winner of the-

Lindsay (from audience): *screams* RIFFY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tries to get up and run to him, but is restrained by Lisa and Luis* 

Raoul: Oh my god… *continues, slowly backing up* The winner of the-

Lindsay: *screaming again* DO THE PELVIC THRUST WITH ME!!!!!!

*total silence*

Raoul: *blankly stares at her* Um, yea sure… *eyes dart around*

Lindsay: REALLY!?!?!? *tries to get up again… the chains make it hard*

Raoul: Right. Yes. Anyway. The winner of the "Best Album of the Century" award goes to… *he opens the envelope* 

TTT: *start to get up to accept the award*

Raoul: Ricky Martin! 

TTT: *they all stop*

Ricky: *gets up and goes to get his Grammy, kissing Raoul when he gets there*

Lindsay: *runs out crying* NOOOOOO!!! *MY* RIIIFFFFYYY!!!! 

Lisa and Luis: *they run up to the stage*

Lisa: *takes the Grammy* NO ONE CAN BEAT OOPA OOPA!! *beats him with it* 

Luis, the composed one: *goes to the mic* Uh, hi. 

*The Chandelier starts moving, the glass clanks and it starts slowly dropping. On it, Raoul and Lindsay dressed in the Rocky Horror space suits. Lindsay has the appropriate hair and makeup for Magenta* 

Raoul: *stands up* RICKY MARTIN, IT'S ALL OVER! *points laser*

Lindsay: *stands up as well* YOUR MUSIC IS A FAILURE. YOUR ASS IS TOO EXTREME. I'M YOUR NEW SUCCESSOR.

Raoul: YOU ARE NOW OUR PRISNA! WE RETURN TO TRANSYLVANIA… PREPARE THE TRANSIT BEAM!!! 

*they jump off the chandelier and onto the stage as it plummets to the audience*

Lindsay: AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! …Oh wait. That's Phantom. Oops… *embarrassed face* 

Luis: Um. Lindsay. *points to Raoul who he believes is standing perilously close to her*

Lindsay: Oh. *she moves in front of Luis who wraps his arms around her waist and puts his head on her shoulders*

*any reporter who is still alive is taking pictures* 

Lisa: *goes to the mic* Sorry...there was a mistake. We win the Grammy. I'd like to dedicate it to all the transvestites in the world! Don't dream it, be it! And I'd like to say to Miss Adrian Frantz… HAHA I GOT JOHNNY AND YOU DIDN'T HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

*The TTT bows, Lindsay steals a small kiss from Raoul, much to Luis's dislike, and Johnny joins them from the audience as they peacefully leave*


	4. Life Support

The Continued Adventures of  **__**

The Continued Adventures of 

The Transsexual Transvestite Trio

Ah hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!!!!

Author's Note: The Zipper, a ride, does sadly not belong to us… :`( Life Support/Zipper is yet another Lisa/Lindsay joke. Shawn Hunter, from Boy Meets World, does not belong to Lindsay…. :`( The hospital was completely made up. Any RHPS/GGD references… they sadly do not belong to us… we'll put them back where we found them. 

Dr. Frank-N-Futer and Johnny Rzeznik were not hurt in the making of this fic. No, we're serious. The chains really didn't hurt them. Right? Guys? You there? 

It was great when it all began… 

{in the middle of nowhere}

Lindsay: *screams* LIFE SUPPORT! *falls on ground*

Lisa: Oh! I know what to do!! *runs away* 

{In hospital on the planet of Transsexual in the galaxy Transylvania} 

*Lindsay is laying in a hospital bed* 

Lisa: *walks in, holding a picture* Here, I brought you a picture of the Zipper! *she hands it to Lindsay* 

Lindsay: *tries to turn it around to somehow make it work. After a moment… * Can I have the real one? 

Lisa: … shit.

{A week later} 

*Lisa is dragging the Zipper around the planet to try and find the hospital. She finds it and goes to the reception desk… the front of the hospital is no more* 

Lisa: Where is Lindsay? *panting* what floor?

Receptionist: 11th.

Lisa: *groans and starts lugging it up the stairs*

*When she finally gets there, the room is empty. Dragging the Zipper back down the 11 flights of stairs, she asks the receptionist…* 

Lisa: WHERE THE HELL IS SHE???

Receptionist: Oh yes, I forgot to tell you, she got transferred back to Earth. 

Lisa: *falls over* 

{On earth, in NYC}

Lindsay: *laying in hospital bed, many flowers, mostly roses, around the bed* 

Johnny Rzeznik: *walks in* Why are you here?

Lindsay: Because I'm on life support? *has no idea it's Johnny* 

Johnny: You just got transferred.

Lindsay: Where?

Johnny: To the farthest depths of the island of Tahiti. 

Lindsay: Hey, wait a minute… YOU'RE HNNHOJ KINZEZR!!!

Johnny: Yea… me too… *backs out of room* 

{Only hours later…} 

Lisa: *walks in, goes to reception desk* Is Lindsay here? 

Receptionist: Oh, you just missed her. She got transferred to Tahiti. 

Lisa: *points at her* Oopa! *walks out* 

{In Tahiti} 

*Lisa walks onto the island, soaking wet and water is pouring out of the cars on the Zipper. She walks around, and then finds the hospital* 

Lisa: Don't tell me she moved again?

Receptionist: *says something in a different language* 

Lisa: *points at her* Oopa! *walks out, dragging the zipper*

{Back in NYC} 

*Lindsay is laying in a hospital bed with Shawn Hunter* 

Frank-N-Futer (the doctor): *walks in* 

Lindsay: Oh dammit…

Lindsay's alter personality - DaMMiT: Yes?

Lindsay: Shut up! I wasn't talking to you!

DaMMiT: Oh, okay…

Shawn: *slowly crawls out of the bed* 

Frank: *he is wearing the lab outfit* Oh-kay!

*A lot of crashing and dieting (**a/n: see bottom**) is heard. Lisa suddenly appears, dragging the Zipper close behind*

Shawn: *makes a narrow escape out the door*

Frank: *stares*

Lindsay: What's that? *tries to lean over and see it*

Lisa: *panting* It's your…. Zipper… for… Life Support… that you… want… wanted… 

Lindsay: Oh! You didn't have to do that!

Lisa: I dragged it to Transsexual Transylvania, *Frank's eyes grow… and that's not the only thing*…

Lindsay: *notices and stares with wide eyes* 

Lisa: …and then I went to NYC, and then to Tahiti-

Lindsay: Oh! Ynnhoj was my doctor in Tahiti! 

Lisa: *nearly falls over* but still, I dragged it all the way back to NYC!!

Lindsay: Like I said, you didn't have to do that! *opens a window* That's what Shawn got me! 

Jhge 

^^^ nonsense/random typing 

****

A/N: Oops. ^_^ Lisa… 

A/N: I meant to type dieing, but it came to dieting, so we just left that. 


	5. Life Support II

The Continued Adventures of… **__**

The Continued Adventures of…

The Transsexual Transvestite Trio

****

A/N: AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! What, did you think we were gone? NOT A CHANCE! ^_~ We're and back, and not better than we were before. Shawn Hunter is a Boy Meets World character… I love him. To death. AH HAHAHAHA! Sorry. As you know, the GGD, RHPS, Boy Meets World and the Zipper do not belong to us. We promise to put them back where we found them. Really! On with Life Support II! 

{online}

Lisa: I dragged the zipper around…

Lindsay: … lol

Lisa: up stairs, down stairs, 10 miles, up more stairs, and god knows what else

Lindsay: hee hee.. that was fun 

Lisa: fun for you maybe... YOU weren't the one dragging it around!!!!!(j/k) let's make a deal, I bring you the zipper whenever your in life support but whenever I'm on life support, you must bring me Johnny, Robby, and Mike

Lisa: *pictures you dragging Johnny, Robby and Mike up and down stairs*

Lindsay: LOL

Lindsay: *dresses up like a Viking*

Lisa: ...

Lindsay: okay, failed joke there..

Lisa: *missed something*

Lisa: oh wait *kind of gets it*

Lindsay: you know, like a Viking on those ships with the slaves?

Lisa: OH! LMAO!

Lindsay: ^_^ weird sense of humour, I know

Lisa: *pictures you dressed as a Viking and John, Robby and Mike 

rowing a kayak-like boat up 11 flights of stairs* 

{In the hospital…}

Lisa: *from her hospital bed, she hears "ROW! ROW!" coming from the stairs*

{cut to stairs}

*The kayak, being furiously rowed by the Goo Goo Dolls, and Lindsay up a flight of stairs*

Mike: *stops, get out of the boat and starts attacking a vending machine that apparently "stole his quarter"*

Receptionist: *staring*

Robby: *gets lost in the boat*

*Shawn Hunter appears again*

Lindsay: *she starts making out with Shawn*

*she stops*

Lindsay: What Luis dun know, can't hurt him…

*she continues* 

Lisa: *sees bow of boat coming up stairs*

*loud screaming is heard as the boat slides back down the stairs*

*loud crash*

Lindsay: Ow...

Lisa: thank god your in a hospital

*Robby is still lost*

Lindsay: *kicks Robby out of the boat*

Robby: *he screams and tries to swim*

{Reality}

__

Lisa: How do you get lost in a kayak? There's not enough room! 

Lindsay: That's the point.

{At the Hospital again}

Lindsay: *rolls her eyes, grabs Shawn and Johnny, and WALKS up to your room*

Robby: *struggling to swim on the cold tile floor* 

*the three walk into the room*

Lisa: yay!

*awkward pause* 

Lisa: Have a rough trip?

Lindsay: Ooooh LIIIISSSSSSAAAA!!!

Lisa: ???????????????????

Lindsay: *gasps*

Lisa: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Lindsay: *shoves Johnny next to you* 

There was more, but it got deleted, so I guess you'll have to live with the suspense! HA!


End file.
